John L’s Story

John had Bell’s palsy over forty years ago, here he describes how after nine or ten weeks of struggling, recovery came within a very short period of time.

It was early in 1972, February I think. Our first child, a daughter, was about two months old. My career in scientific research had just begun, I had obtained my doctorate 18 months earlier. One afternoon I was walking down the stairs in the university laboratory where I worked when I felt an irritation in my right eye. Naturally I rubbed it but it wouldn’t go away. I got home later that evening and it was still bothering me. The next morning it was worse and I decided to go to the doctor’s. No need to book an appointment in those days, I just turned up. I suppose I thought it was some foreign body in my eye or some infection such as conjunctivitis. I walked into the doctor’s surgery, he smiled kindly and immediately said “You have Bell’s palsy”. By this time the right hand side of my face had dropped and was effectively paralysed. He explained the probable cause and prescribed the steroid treatment. We talked about the prognosis and the effectiveness of the treatment. It was suggested that it would last about six week and then probably clear up. He signed me off work for a couple of weeks.

So far, so good. I took the course of steroids without any significant side effects. My eye got worse and I could hardly see. Watching TV was painful. I was beginning to get worried, would I be blind in one eye. No Internet then, so I couldn’t look anything up easily. That was good since I couldn’t scare myself with horror stories but I didn’t have access to any useful information either. I couldn’t work, so I was both frustrated and frightened. My research contract had only another eight months to run and I was attending job interviews. I remember one interview where I wore dark glasses. I can’t remember if I explained my predicament or not, probably not. I didn’t get the job, although I responded to all the questions and gave it my best shot. I felt terrible though, I felt that I was being discriminated against, through no fault of my own.

Six weeks came and went. I was back at work struggling to read and think. My work was largely mathematical and involved writing complex computer programmes so reading was vital. My friends and colleagues were very kind, sympathetic and helpful. I was beginning to give up hope. At Easter our daughter was christened and I was struggling to see. We still have the photos.

Nine or ten weeks, I’d almost given up, when one morning the right side of my face began to feel strange, itching I think, a bit like the aftermath of a dental anaesthetic. I didn’t know what was happening, but within a couple of hours my face had recovered its old appearance. I realised how lucky I was. A few weeks later I saw a dream job in a government lab advertised for which I successfully applied.

I have had no recurrence of Bell’s palsy although any twinge in my face muscles sends me to the mirror. I often check that my smile is no more lop-sided than normal.

I have written this story about an event in my life over forty years ago in order to give hope to new sufferers. Things can work out. I had a good doctor who gave me appropriate treatment rapidly. My family, friends and colleagues were all very supportive, which helped a great deal. I don’t think it affected my career, other factors were more important. I began to realise that perhaps I was more vulnerable than I wanted to believe; not the state of mind one wants with a young wife and a daughter of three months! Thinking about it now and writing this piece has made me realise that at the time I felt outside society and didn’t want to socialise, I felt “different”, stigmatised and perhaps discriminated against. Perhaps it has made me more sympathetic to those pushed to the margins of society through disfigurement or other differences from the perceived norms.